(video) Resistance can be tricky to recognize… if it is working properly it is designed to distract you from the pain underneath it. How can you recognize resistance and how can you deal with it once you do? This video shows you one way that I’ve found works well.
What’s your experience with resistance and making friends with it?
(video) Once we’re ready to quit the cycle of denial and reliving our pain, we can acknowledge it and let it go… Oh happy day!
Here’s one technique that I use with clients for acknowledging pain – without denying or reliving.
(video) We tend to do a mixture of two things when we’re faced with something that we don’t like: we deny it and we relive it in our heads over and over. Neither of these are terribly helpful for letting go of the pain.
(video) Caught up in a storm? How to stop the thunder and lightening?
The third step, after remembering that your thoughts aren’t you (you have thoughts like you have a shirt) and practicing remembering that enough that it is easy to do… you can finally remember in the middle of chaos!
(video) Stopping all that noise in your head?
First, remember that you are not your thoughts and feelings. Remember that you HAVE thoughts and feelings, like you have a book or a pen. This creates some breathing space in the middle of chaos when your thoughts and feelings seem to be your whole world.
Then, since most of us have a strong habit of thinking as if we are our thoughts and feelings – that our thoughts are all that exist – it’s important to practice this “new” perspective… Changing that habit takes practice, so doing something on a regular basis that reminds us is useful!
There are lots of things you can do to remind yourself… pick one and do it!
(video) A juicy bit… How do we stop the thoughts and emotions that are causing us so much pain and turmoil?
The bad news is we can’t.
The good news is we can create a way to not be overwhelmed by them, a way to step out of them and back into ourselves. We can stop thinking and feeling that our thoughts and emotions are our whole world by remembering that actually we are much bigger than they are… we are not our thoughts and feelings, we are having thoughts and feelings.
Simple. Profound. Effective.
Try it for yourself and see & feel the difference.
And feel free to share your experiences so that we can grow and learn together, from each other.